This is one of those stories where at the time it might not have been so funny, but hopefully someday I'm sure we will all laugh about it.
So as some of you know, or can know by looking at my info, we live in Greenwood, MO. Which is in the KC/MO metro area and the home of the Kansas City Chiefs. Ya, they suck, I know. They're not really a team to be proud of. As a matter of fact they suck so bad that this game that D Hubs went to was blacked out. Maybe since he knew that there wasn't a chance for his actions to be aired on TV was the reason for his
drunken irresponsible behavior. Ya, I don't think so either. I'm sure his "fun" would've happened either way.
The morning of this Chief's game D Hubs left our house at 7:30am to go pick up his buddies to go tailgate. It was a given that there would be some drinking and some good 'ol male bonding with his buddies. No problem, right? Wrong.
D gets home and he walks in and puts his keys and wallet on the kitchen counter. Normal procedure. Then he says, "Well... I had an interesting day".
Oh Gawd. He's taking a long pause here. So with anticipation I say, "Why? What happened?!"
He puts on this innocent face and has his hands up in the air when he says, "I was put into a holding cell at the game for no damn reason".
In my head I thought 'Oh Holy Shit, WTF did he do?!' I wanted to keep the "cool wife" status, so instead of saying what I was thinking I said as sweet and caring as possible, "Oh my, you're kidding, what happened?"
(SIDE NOTE: If my nose actually worked, I'm sure I'd be able to confirm that he reeked of beer. All I can do is analyze his speech and body language and I can give you a good estimation of how much alcohol he had consumed. So it was at this time that I turned on my beerdar goggles and started to really analyze the suspect.)
He explains, "The effing security grabbed my hands behind my back and effing cuffed me and walked me up to a holding cell". He looks at me waiting for a response from hearing that madness.
I just look at him as I'm waiting for him to continue with a blank expression. Obviously not the reaction he wanted. I'm pretty sure he was waiting for me to say something like, 'Oh my gawd, are you okay?' Before he got any sympathy from me I needed to hear the entire story. No one gets put in a holding cell for no reason!
So he just repeats what he said before and then added that his buddy J got him out.
I'm not buying his innocence still and at this point my beerdar is reading "Drunk" because he is cursing. So I asked again, "Okay, but what did you do to get in the cell?"
He quickly replies, "Nothing, I did nothing!"
I'm still quiet and giving him "the look" that says 'ya right, come on now you're not fooling anyone'.
Then very fidgety he says, "Well, one minute I was having a good time with J and the next my hands were pulled behind my back and got handcuffed and taken to the holding cell. Then J got me out."
(Beerdar is reading "Really Drunk" because of his fidgeting and repeating himself) I ask, "What do you mean 'J got you out?' Like he had to post bail or something?"
He says extremely slurred, "He came up and got me out."
My beerdar concluded that he was "At one point of the day Super Drunk, but was forced Drunk Sober due to a serious issue and so much time has passed since the last beer that he drank".
So after our very slow moving convo of pretty much me asking the same questions over and over and getting a little bit more out of him each time, this is the the final version of the story that I got out of him:
"The guys and I were minding our own damn business having a good time and then some 'non-chiefs fan mofo' comes down and sits right next to us in an empty seat. I know that it wasn't his GD seat! J told me that I might have spit in his face and told him that he can't sit there. (I don't think he literally spit in his face. When he gets angry/drunk he sometimes spits when he talks) J also told me that I might have grabbed the security guy's neck when they tried to tell me that I was being unreasonable. (His "might haves" is his way of avoiding confrontation with me and giving the truth very lightly to me) That's when they handcuffed me and put me in the holding cell. They took my wallet and phone and keys. J called my phone and the security guy answered it (?) and when he got off the phone the security guy said 'Your buddy J just got you out, you can leave when he gets up here'. They didn't have anything on me so they couldn't keep me or press any charges. Good thing I have a clear (yes he said clear instead of clean) record."
My response was "That's awesome that you had a good time with your buddies and you have a fun story to tell, but really, how many beers did you have?"
His response went from the 8 or 9 beers that he said earlier during our slow-mo convo to "I don't know, I didn't have THAT much".
15 minutes later he passed out on the couch.
While he slept I wrote this post. When he woke up he was able to clear up a little more about what happened.
(Note, that their seats were in the front row) So all that stuff did happen with the guy sitting in the seat next to D and how he confronted him about it. After sobering up, D was able to remember that at this point there was a security guy(SG) down on the field that saw D and that guy having that confrontation. That SG on the field came over right in front D, reached up and grabbed onto his hoodie (which tore at the neckline) and pulled him down so that they were face to face and yelled "You need to calm the F down!". That is what really pissed D off and that is when he grabbed the SG back and yelled back "You need to get the F out of my face!" Then that SG radioed in that D is causing trouble. That's when more SGs came down and cuffed him.
All of this drama is totally out of the norm for D. He's not one to go looking for trouble and he usually avoids any kind of confrontation what so ever. I guess if you get him drunk he might get a little sensitive to someone trying to get away with getting a good seat for free and someone yelling in his face and tearing his clothes. Apparently he might get a little angrier than usual and just might make a scene. Ha.
Is he in trouble?
No. If you know D, he's a very busy hardworking man who doesn't get a chance to go out and have a
drunk fest good time with his buddies that often. Plus when he does, it's always much more innocent fun. He totally deserved to have this little day of "fun" that ended up in a holding cell.
Shandal
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