So last week I watched a video of Chalene Johnson, (creator of ChaLEAN Extreme, TurboJam, and TurboFire to name a few), talking about social media and how influential it can be towards your business. As a Beachbody Coach, connecting with people and making new friends plays a big part in having a successful business. She said that video recording yourself and posting it on YouTube is the best way to show people who you really are. It’s a great way to connect with people and to build a relationship. Which makes sense… I want people to know me and trust that I am who I say I am. They always say that actions speak more than words…
After I watched that video I decided that I’d try it out and record myself making dinner just to see what I looked like. Well, I recorded about 15 seconds worth, then watched it and about died. I’m so fidgety and I can’t even make eye contact with the camera when I’m talking! Now after thinking about it, I don’t think that I ever make eye contact with people when I’m speaking. I’m pretty sure that I look away at something behind them or look down.
The honest truth is that my anxiety is to blame for that. For some reason whenever I talk to people I worry about what I look like when I’m talking. I feel so awkward and constantly wonder what the person I’m talking to is thinking about. Do they think what I’m saying is totally lame? Does my voice annoy them? Are they critiquing my features? Do they wish I would just shut up? All the while I can just feel all of those emotions just flooding my face with redness.
I’m the same way on the phone too. I hate talking on the phone for the fear of awkward silence. So I try and make phone conversations as short as possible. I’m usually all sweaty after phone calls from being so tense. I obviously would prefer to text message. That way I have time to think before replying and saying something stupid.
So apparently I’m afraid to talk to the camera too. Obviously the camera can’t critique me, so what’s the big deal?? I guess the playback is the big deal. It’s recorded… so it can be played back over and over. That’s a lot of pressure to have a perfect conversation with a camera! Ha!
Anyway… so these are my thoughts on the first video taping of myself. I think that I should just keep doing it and somehow try and kick all of those insecurities and just be myself. Unfortunately my anti-anxiety medication only helps tame my anxiety attacks, but it doesn’t cure my insecurities. Hopefully one day I will feel confident in posting them though!